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"Before you know it as the years go by, you're just like other people you have seen, with all those peculiar human ailments. Just another vehicle for temper and vanity and rashness and all the rest. Who wants it? Who needs it? These things occupy the place where a man's soul should be." -- Henderson the Rain King

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Best Baseball Names

I present to you the 20 best names in Major League baseball.

  • Rocco Baldelli - Boxer, porn star, or center fielder?
  • Jung Bong - Bevis and Butthead would be proud.
  • Boof Bonser - Legally changed his name from John to Boof after 2001 season. Nice.
  • Chris Bootcheck - I've never seen a boot check, but I'll bet they're popular in Texas.
  • Milton Bradley - Rumored to be involved in trade for Parker Brothers.
  • Homer Bush - Mmm donut of mass destruction.
  • Francisco Butto - I don't know if you pronounce his last name as Butt-o, but you should.
  • Coco Crisp - Awesome.
  • Bartolome Fortunato - Tampa Bay traded this guy. You don't trade a guy name Fortunato.
  • Byung-Hyun Kim - Best name to say. Try it, you'll like it.
  • Nook Logan - This guy is super fast. I guess you would be to if you had a name like Nook.
  • Corky Miller - The name Corky just won't ever be the same after Life Goes On.
  • Wily Mo Pena - According to his bio, "Name is pronounced Willie Moe PAIN-ya". The man so nice they named him twice.
  • J.J. Putz - With a name like Putz, J.J. seems like a pretty good call. Seriously, try to come up with a better first name. Jim Putz? John Putz? Told you.
  • Kenny Rogers - You've got to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them.
  • Marco Scutaro - MARCO?.....scutaro MARCO?....scutaro
  • Terrmel Sledge - Pro wrestler, porn star, or left fielder?
  • Tim Spooneybarger - Hey, it could've been Forkeybarger.
  • Tommy Whiteman - Sounds like someone Pam Grier would chase in one of those 70's blaxpoitation flicks.
  • Kerry Wood - Valley girl, porn star, or pitcher?

posted by Jamie at 1:45 AM