Best Bagger Contest

In fairness to my previous post about the silliness that is competitive twirling, I should probably come clean and admit that during high school I competed twice in the National Grocers Association's Best Bagger Contest after winning Florida's state bag boy competition. There, I said it.

I could explain to you how the whole thing works, but you're probably better of reading the NGA's official description of the contest. Yes, there is a paper round and a plastic round.

You'd be amazed at how intense people are about the competition. They have coaches. They train. It's serious stuff. Though I'm loathe to admit it, I could bag some groceries like nobodies business. I finished fifth in the nation my second year narrowly missing out on a victory and a chance to go on David Letterman and get my 15 minutes of fame (though I did win some scholarship money for school). Who knows, if I'd stuck with bagging maybe I could've been somebody.

"Agnes: And you, start over. I want everything in one bag.
Pimple Faced Kid: Yes, ma'am!
Agnes: But I don't want the bag to be heavy.
Pimple Faced Kid: I don't think that's possible!
Agnes: What are you, the possible police? Just do it!
Homer: Hurry up, I can't stand here jabbing you all day!
Bag Boy: Please, ow, stop, ow! Bag boys have feeling too, you know!
Homer: No you don't!" -- The Simpsons from "Last Exit to Springfield"