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"Before you know it as the years go by, you're just like other people you have seen, with all those peculiar human ailments. Just another vehicle for temper and vanity and rashness and all the rest. Who wants it? Who needs it? These things occupy the place where a man's soul should be." -- Henderson the Rain King

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ryan Adams @ The Moore

On Sunday night we saw Ryan Adams play at the Moore Theater. I promised a friend before the show that it was bound to be memorable in one way or another and it turned out I was spot on. Ry-Ry now has the distinction of playing the best live show I've ever seen (solo acoustic at the Century Ballroom a couple of years ago) and the worst live show I've ever seen (solo acoustic Sunday night).

Here are 10 helpful tips that Ryan could've used before the show:

  1. Do not show up for your show drunk and/or high
  2. If you do show up drunk consider laying off the booze during the show
  3. Try to remember the lyrics to your songs
  4. If it's going to take you two minutes between songs to decide what to play next consider writing down a "set list". A "set list" is your friend.
  5. Do not carry on conversations with your stage manager while you are on stage
  6. Do not carry on conversations with the sound people while you are on stage
  7. Do not carry on conversations with your guitar while you are on stage (though the 'firewood or friend?' comment was the funniest thing he said all night)
  8. Do not stop for a "cortizone shot" in the middle of the show. If your wrist is really hurting at least fake like you're done and get the shot during the "encore break"
  9. Do not blow your nose onto the stage in the middle of a song...if you must at least don't feel compelled to tell us how much snot just came out of your nose
  10. Do not make farting noises with the piano bench...if you really must at least don't do it twice.

Seattlest' review of the show titled 'Ryan Adams Show Worse Than Food Poisioning' is available here. And it looks like the Portland show was just as bad. I give him half the tour and then its off to rehab. Hopefully it'll be a wakeup call as its sad to see one of my favorite songwriter/artists in such a woeful state...can I at least blame Lindsay Lohan?